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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often coming after a “sudden low”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his behavior, rendering him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from others. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms on the internet – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. But, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment without having already reached that realization personally. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they experience feelings of superiority. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

While people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people keep it private, as there is significant negative perception linked to the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to enhance their social status through things like seeking admiration,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

Though three-quarters of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are males, research points out this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she shares, “because if I hear that the issue lies with me, I often enter self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this behavior – which is sometimes referred to as “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures during development. “I’ve been learning all this time which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because I never had that as a kid,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my family members were insulting me during my childhood.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to early life adversity. Heredity is a factor,” notes an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions through national services (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: “They said it is likely to occur early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he says. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of NPD content creators and the development of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number